Original Writing

2AM at WKCU

by Melissa Minners
 

What if cats went to college? It would probably be called something like Kitty Cat University or KCU. And what if that college had its own radio station? Let's take a listen, shall we?...

 

It's 2am here at WKCU, your only radio source for all things cat.  You're listening to DJ Chlo-Chlo. 

Coming up in our next hour, great new songs and some old favorites like:

         Feed Me (Fancy Feast)

         Hairball Rising

         She Works Hard for the Kibble

         Caribbean Kitty

 

And now for this service announcement:

            Do you or someone you know suffer from a catnip addiction?  If so, help is available.  Call 1-888-NIP-MEOW...that's 1-888-NIP-MEOW.

 

Just a few reminders: 

There are a few seats open for Love Me, Love My Litterbox Habits, Caterwauling 101 and Advanced Claw Sharpening, so sign up today.  Classes in How to Get the Most of Your Catnip are all filled up, so if you missed it, better luck next year. 

The Thundering Herd will be competing against the Pouncing Panthers in Track & Field on Sunday morning at 4am around, over and through the bedroom, so come and cheer your favorites on!  The louder, the better!  Never mind the sleeping humans, they'll love every minute of it...or else.  We don't offer classes in Clever Hairball Usage for nothing. 

There will be a rally for strays in the quad at 11pm.  Bring all of your used toys (Kongs preferred), treats and cans for donations to the underprivileged alley kitties who have yet to find a forever home.

 

And now, an editorial.  The views expressed in the following editorial are not necessarily the views of this radio station...and now, Fluffy the Fourth: 

Greetings.  I'm here to talk about an annoying human trait that many a cat...or even dog...has had to suffer with - selecting a name.  Not only do humans refuse to consult with their kitties as to what name they would like to go by, but they often times name us after former kitties in their lives.  Do they even have a clue how horrible this tendency of theirs is?  We are forced to live up to the expectation of the last kitty that graced them with their presence.  Not to mention the completely embarrassing habit of naming us after traits...or favorite television/movie characters.  Take my name for instance.  I come from a long line of luxurious Persian kitties.  My hair is beautifully long and voluminous.  Does that mean I wish to be called Fluffy?!  And being the fourth in the line of kitties that my human has associated with, does that mean I must be called Fluffy the Fourth?!  This is not an issue of lack of imagination...well, maybe a little...but the fact that I was never even asked what I would like to be called.  What about Queen...Princess...Her Highness...Lord and Master?!  My civil rights have been violated!  I demand to be heard...Mreow!

Ahem...This is DJ Chlo-Chlo and the preceding was an editorial from Fluffy...er...Queen...er...

Now, back to the music.  WKCU!!!!

 


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