Badseed's Bottomline #328

Since the WWE is Too Stupid...

By Badseed

Hey yo!  So, I am not enjoying wrestling at all this past week.  Oh, I am so disgusted with how things have been going ever since they got rid of so many wrestlers.  Damn!  The WWE has really messed things up as of late.  I sure hope they know what they are doing, but things have been so bad this week, I wonít even touch Raw or Smackdown.  Same old Ė Same old.  What I will talk about is one of my biggest pet peeves ever.  That would be tag-team wrestling. 

The WWE was once a hot bed for tag-teams.  I remember a time when they had so many teams they would put them all together into a Survivor Series match.  It was one of the most exciting matches on the PPV and helped cement the show as one of the best PPV concepts ever; that is until the WWE ruined that, too.  Look at all the great tag-teams they had back in the day:  The Killer Bees, Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs, Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik, U.S. Express, Dream Team, Strike Force, Rougeau Brothers, The Rockers, Power and Glory, Legion of Doom, Demolition, Powers of Pain and even The Conquistadors.  Later on, more teams filled the void with Money Inc., the Natural Disasters, Quebecers, Headshrinkers, Steiner Brothers, Beverly Brothers, Well Dunn, Smoking Gunns, Yokozuna and Owen Hart and even Men on a Mission.  Even when things sucked, we still had the Body Donnas, Godwinns, Headbangers, British Bulldog and Owen Hart, LOD, Nation of Domination, Los Boricuas, DOA and a fun team in Steve Austin and Dude Love.  Then things got great again with the New Age Outlaws, Hardy Boys, Dudley Boys, APA, Edge and Christian, Too Cool, the Hollies and the Rock and Sock Connection

Damn, back in the day, tag-team wrestling was just what people wanted.  The NWA had The Rock-n-Roll Express, the Midnight Express, Samoan Swat Team, Road Warriors, various combinations of the Four Horsemen, Koloffs, Fabulous Freebirds, Doom, Skyscrapers, Fantastics, Flyiní Brian and the Z-Man and so many other teams they had to create a two-day tournament to celebrate the overwhelming numbers.  Even in TNA, they know the value of tag-teams with Americaís Most Wanted, Naturals, 3 Live Kru, Team Canada and so many other great teams that find their way down the pipe at TNA.  Even the WWE seemed to remember tag-teams for a little while giving us some great matches between Los Guerreros, Benoit and Angle and Edge and Mysterio or Goldust and Booker T vs. Christian and Jericho.  And who could forget the Worldís Greatest Tag-Team.  They reunited the APA and the Dudley Boys and then they just let it go down the crapper. 

Tag-team wrestling is dead and it shouldnít be.  The reason why the WWE is releasing wrestlers is because they have nothing to do for them when it comes to singles action.  So, why not put some of these wrestlers in tag-teams and let them get over as a team so that over time they can be split into singles stars.  You canít just split up a team right away like they did with Paul London and Billy Kidman.  You need to make it work.  The future stars come from great tag-teams and if they donít, the tag-team can become the future star.  Look at the Dudley Boys, Edge and Christian and the Hardy Boys.  Those guys all could have been the main event of Wrestlemania and fans would have walked home happy.  They have no foresight.  Creative just looks at right now and canít think long-term anymore.  Itís a big joke and it is not even funny anymore.  Wrestling has gotten so boring.  Tag-teams, women and cruiserweights helped diversify the show.  Now everything is the same and no one likes the same boring crap all the time.  So, like I always do, at least once a year, I create a tag-team roster for the WWE

Hurricane and Rosey:  They are the tag-team champions for Raw and they will stay that way until a better team comes along and beats them.  Hurricane and Rosey still gets a pop from the crowd.  The big man Ė little man combination fits.  We havenít had that sort of team in a long time.  One man can handle the big work and the other man hits them with the quickness.  Hurricane and Rosey are a great team, but they need to be used more often and they need more teams in the mix to showcase their talents. 

The Heart Throbs:  They are funny.  Their gyrations and actions make them a perfect comedy team.  The only problem is; they never win any matches and when they only face Hurricane and Rosey, Regal and Tajiri and Viscera, there really isnít much of a chance to build themselves up as a team people can even laugh at in a good way.  Right now, they are laughing at them, because they are just a couple of big jokes.  They need to feud with someone more up their alley, but the WWE needs to create that team. 

Snitsky and Masters:  You know, fans may not like either men, but as a big man team, they could be a very dominating force.  They are friggin monsters and would look better together than alone.  Maybe Snitskyís weird style will force some real charisma out of Masters.  The Master Lock is not a bad finisher.  I enjoy the move.  Itís a throwback and they built it up the right way.  Now, as a tag-team, Snitsky and Masters could be a little more formidable.  If you throw Tyson Tomko in there as a threesome, you can hide some of their weaknesses and show more of their strengths.  Give them a hot chick for Masters and you have something that will add a little tension in the mix.  Thatís always fun, as long as they donít split up right away.  Forget Tomko and you can bring back T&A in the form of S&M (that would probably fit Snitsky a little).  Oh yeah.  There is just so much that could be done here.  I am a genius. 

Rob Conway and Val Venis:  These two can work and they can talk, too.  They look good and they could be the perfect foil for the Heart ThrobsConway is just not there yet and Venis needs something to get him back in the mix.  The two have a look that I think would work well together.  Plus it gives them something to do and will probably get them on a PPV again. 

TNT:  Well, I understand they have created some sort of team with Garrison Cade that is reminiscent of Americaís Most Wanted and I am all for it.  A modern age Blackjacks.  Hey, it helped launch Bradshaw as the next Wrestling God

Viscera and Mark Henry:  When Henry comes back; Sexual Chocolate needs to be reborn as a tag-team.  That would be some funny stuff.  And they are huge, so an eventual feud with S&M would be a hardcore slugfest.  You need teams that bring different tools to the table.  Fast teams, pretty boy teams, big man teams, fat guys, combinations of the two.  Thatís what I am trying to do here. 

The Basham Brothers:  Bring them back together and put them on Raw.  It would be new for them and it would give these guys something to do.  They have been doing nothing in singles action since the trade, so why were they split in the first place.  That was one of the biggest boneheaded moves I have ever seen.  There was still life in this team.  They should have turned them face.  Letís fix that mistake and maybe have them come in to help their old OVW buddy Eugene against Snitsky, Tomko and Masters.  Something has to work. 

Swinger and DupreeJohnny Swinger and Rene Dupree should be fun to watch together.  I mean what else are you going to do with these two guys?  I just like saying Swinger and Dupree.  Donít ask me why.  I have no basis for uniting these two.  So sue me. 

The Blonde Bombers:  There is a team in OVW that has a name and looks like a team.  Works for me.  I know nothing about them, but I hear they are good workers and a fresh team could help the Raw roster.  Bring them in and do more for them than you did with the Heart Throbs.  A fresh team that excites the crowd could get fans back into tag-team wrestling.  For a second, fans almost got back into it when MNM debuted, but the WWE ruined that one.  Donít screw up again. 

Animal and Heidenreich:  They are your Smackdown tag-team champions.  WHY?!!!  Oh well, if you are going to do that, you might as well have a real debate about who is the best tag-team in the WWE.  Give Heidenreich a Mohawk, shoulder pads and some face paint and create an LOH The Legion of Hawk.  That would be cool.  Anyways, have them hold on to the strap and set up a hot Tag-Team Turmoil contest for Summerslam.  I will get into the participants later. 

MNM:  One of those participants will be MNM.  They are the tag-team of the future; the team that will bring tag-team wrestling back into the mix.  They will need some teams to feud with, but MNM will be the Edge and Christian team of the mix.  With Melina in their corner, we have a hot team that fans will enjoy seeing and you know the fans want to love Melina.  The MNM concept is fresh and the team shows great teamwork in the ring, reminiscent of some great teams of the past.  They are going to want to defend their beliefs that they are the best tag-team in the WWE and they will want a piece of the action. 

Mexicools:  These are some great cruiserweight wrestlers, but if one wins the cruiserweight title, the other two are going to have to do something else.  Super Crazy and Psychosis make sense as a team just because of their names.  They have some great moves and could be serious contenders for the title if the right team is holding the belts.  They could hold their own with MNM or some of the other teams I will bring up. 

BWO:  Any combination of the three will give Smackdown a comedy team that can make fun of other teams.  They do not have to be faces or heels.  They can come out as the LOD one week and then as MNM the next.  I would rather see a team of Stevie Richards and Nova, but the Blue Meanie can get some action, too.  Should be fun. 

FBINunzio and Vito can mix it up comedy-style or get serious.  This combination of the two will make this team very versatile in their matches with the Mexicools, BWO or MNM.  It is time they gave a belt to Nunzio, so I would really like to see this team work.  I think they should be faces. 

Sylvain Grenier and William Regal:  Sort of like a new Un-Americans team without the actual gimmick.  This would allow Regal to help push a new talent.  Regal is very good in his role with the younger talent.  Grenier will never succeed as a singles star at this time.  Let Regal guide him along the way.  This could be a sleeper team worth watching. 

Harlem HeatBooker T has been pushing for this and it should happen.  They should enter themselves in the match with the LOD-wannabes and MNM over who is the better team.  Harlem Heat could easily be considered one of them with its multiple time WCW tag-team champions; just please donít say 10 time 10 time 10 timeÖyou get the point.  There is not much left for Booker T.  He will never win the world title.  Let him go out on top with his brother in the same way he started. 

The Dudley Boys:  Sign them back or let them wrestle out their contract and put them in this match.  Everyone wants to see Animal and the Dudley Boys in the same ring.  Just give it to the fans.  The Dudley Boys still have a lot to offer the WWE.  I want to see Bubba Ray put Melina through a table.  A match between them and MNM would be hot.  Too bad they couldnít get the Steiner Brothers or the Hart Foundation or the Rockers in the ring for this big tag-team match. 

The Shane Twins:  This team is supposed to be a hardcore brawler team.  They could be the Dudley Boys of the new school of tag-team wrestling and could push MNM to the limits in TLC matches and so on, bringing back the tag-team wars fans loved. 

The ThrillseekersMatt from Tough Enough is here and that means a built in feud between him and Johnny NitroThe Thrillseekers could be the Hardy Boys of the mix and go at it with MNM and the Shane Twins in an epic tag-team feud. 

Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney:  A perfect violent team that could feud with the Dudley Boys

Amish Roadkill and Danny Doring:  This is the Hurricane and Rosey team for the Smackdown brand.  This is an awesome big man Ė little man combination that will easily get the fans behind them just because of Roadkillís gimmick and Doringís need to have hot women around him.  With Smackdown the place where Divas go to die, they could actually do something with him.

That was easy.  I just put together a crazy amount of teams for both Raw and Smackdown and even came up with two killer feuds.  I just donít understand why Creative finds it so hard to come up with stuff.  I guess it doesnít matter.  They wonít listen, so I will just turn on my television and watch another Raw or Smackdown repeat.  Oh, they donít show repeats.  Well, you could have fooled me. 

Be sure to check out the message board at http://gpopnetwork.proboards31.com/index.cgi where there is a spirited conversation going on about the fall of the WWE.  Have a voice of your own.  Get popped.  Sign up and give us your thoughts.  Thatís all for today.  Iíll see you next time or will I be seeing you right now.  Donít look out your window.  I will be gone by the time you do.  Peace. 

 For feedback, visit our message board or e-mail the author at feedback@g-pop.net.

For more of Badseed's Bottomline check out our Archive!

DHTML/JavaScript Menu by OpenCube