Badseed's Bottomline #365:
Wrestlemania 22 Ė Not Really the Big Time
Hey yo! I am trying to get excited about Wrestlemania, but it is hard. I found a way. For the first time ever, I am throwing a Wrestlemania party and I am inviting this girl who is smoking hot and actually likes wrestling, my boy and his girl and my sister and her husband and we will make it a fun time even though this PPV will not really be the big time show it advertises itself to be. But letís try to make the most of it.
John Cena vs. HHH: The plus of this match is that the two never fought before. The downside of this match is that there really hasnít been much of a buildup to make this match matter. HHH won some tournament to get a shot and rather than play off the confrontation they had months back, the WWE moves forward and just throws a match together. Neither wrestler looks strong going into the battle. HHH has made a mockery of John Cena, actually pandering to the fanís opinion of Cena instead of trying to help Cena get the fans behind him. The match itself will actually be on par with the usual slugfest matches and will probably be no different from normal HHH and John Cena matches. Punches, kicks, ref bumps, sledgehammers, missed pedigree attempts, missed FU attempt, You Canít See Me, Cena getting beat down only to come back with shoulder tackles and punches, followed by a strange side slam, a five knuckle shuffle and the pumping of shoes. To be honest, it probably will not be a bad match at all. But nothing spectacular. Who do I think will win? Well, my money is on HHH. Cena is better chasing the belt and HHH is more hated when he is with a group that helps him come out on top so look for that to come into play as well. I just donít know if I would end the show with HHH winning the title. Something seems so wrong with that. Oh well.
Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio: This match had far better booking. They put some effort into this one. I guess because Mysterioís part in all this started back at the Royal Rumble. The interesting aspect of this is that Eddie Guerrero plays a huge part in this match without being there. Thatís actually kind of cool. I like that. Eddie Guerrero was taken much too soon so he should have some kind of role to play. However, I donít think Mysterio wins this match, as much as it would be the happy ending everyone was looking for. And I donít think Angle wins here either. I still love my booking idea. You have Randy Orton come out on top. You have him come out and interfere in HHHís match with John Cena and you have HHH and Randy Orton celebrating to end the show in sort of a mock heel version of Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. It kind of works with the storyline. I like it. Of course, the match itself will be nothing short of astronomical. All three wrestlers are great workers. They can go in the ring and especially against one another. I expect this match to steal the show. Randy Orton winning the big one yet again will look better in the specter of Wrestlemania in a moment that will surely be remembered and catapult him into true heel main event status, unlike the last time. I look forward to this match more than almost any other match on the show. And if HHH and Orton celebrate at the end, you heard it here first.
HBK vs. Vince McMahon: This no holds barred battle will only be good because of the blood shed. I expect both men to bleed and bleed heavily. Why do I half expect Test to interfere in this match and help Shane McMahon help his father? HmmmmmÖ.wouldnít that be something? Now, I donít know who should win this battle. If Bret Hart was to shock everyone and come out, I would expect HBK to win, but if someone interferes on McMahonís behalf, well, then I would think McMahon would win. Still, it would seem more likely that HBK gets the duke here, because there has to be a happy ending to this feud. There just has to be. HBKís footnote on his Hall of Fame career should not be that he lost to Vince McMahon. He needs to beat him and he needs to beat him in a fashion where McMahon wants more revenge and instead tries to enact his revenge through another wrestler like a Test. Maybe they could make a mockery of HBK with the HBCade gimmick promised a long time ago with Lance Cade. Either way, HBK needs to win this battle. Maybe Marty Jannety tricked us all and comes back to help his former partner and the two of them go on to beat Carlito and Masters for the tag-team belts. Whatever happensÖmy pick is HBK. This match will surprise some people. It wonít be that bad at all.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: You have RVD, Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, Fit Finlay, Lashley and Matt Hardy. I will tell you that this match will be a hell of a lot of fun. With so many wrestlers involved, I expect a great mix of power, brawling, high flying and veteran skills. This is the other match that could steal the show. But I will tell you who will not win. Matt Hardy will not get a major push just yet. Heís not ready for it. He is going to be teamed back up with Shannon Moore and I donít see him as a #1 contender in that role. Plus, after Edge winning the year before, I think the WWE knows better not to give Matt Hardy the same gimmick. Lashley will not win because he is too green. They have done the right thing by not pushing him so fast and he is not the kind of wrestler who wins a ladder match. Finley will not win, because he is not even U.S. title worthy, let alone world title worthy. A great veteran, but he is the kind of guy who doesnít win belts. Shelton Benjamin is the IC champion. He doesnít need the #1 contender rating. He will already have his hands full defending the belt. The only two who could win it are RVD and Ric Flair. RVD is the obvious favorite, because the fans are so solidly behind him. It would make sense to give him the briefcase, because then he would call himself Mr. Money in the Bank while he does his posing and it would lead to a feud between he and Edge that would be off the charts. I would love to see him get another high profile world title match and I think they are prepared to push him after Wrestlemania. Ric Flair, on the other hand, is on a quest for one more run with the World title and from a storyline standpoint that even I have written up in the past, it would be awesome to give him that one more run with the gold. I will go with RVD (maybe there is truth to the rumor of RVD challenging HHH at ECW: Another One Night Stand), but strangely, my heart is with Ric Flair.
Undertaker vs. Mark Henry: This match will suck. Undertaker doesnít get many good matches at Wrestlemania. I can count them all on one hand, but he doesnít lose either so I canít see Mark Henry of all people ending that streak. That would just ruin Undertakerís legacy. This is a given match. It is actually the reason why they put the casket gimmick as part of the battle. If we know the Undertaker is going to win, we might as well get to see him put someone in a casket. Of course, the Undertaker doesnít always have that much luck in casket matches, which is exactly what the WWE wants us to remember so we pretend there is an element of surprise. Undertaker win. There is no other way to go on this one. In fact, the only thing to do it go take a bathroom break while they wrestler.
Edge vs. Mick Foley: Foley canít win, but he can put on an excellent match. Expect this battle to be as violent as can be. Expect there to be a lot of thumbtacks, tables, ladders and chairs. It will be a different type of hardcore match from McMahon vs. HBK. This will be barbaric. I expect both wrestlers to take some sick ass looking bumps. Lita is probably going to take a good bump herself. A barbed wire bat will come into play and I have a sneaking suspicion that a flaming table will be used. But in the end, this match is more important for Edge than winning the world title. Just like Foley helped Orton, Foley is going to shoot Edge to the next level and what level is that, you ask; ending Undertakerís unbeaten streak at next yearís Wrestlemania. It has to be done and why not with another unbeaten wrestler. The hype alone is worth it.
Chris Benoit vs. JBL: I have a feeling Stone Cold Steve Austin gets involved in this match and costs JBL the match, leading to a match between the two somewhere down the road. JBL should not be taking a step down for the U.S. title right now. I think he wrestles one more match as a heel against Austin and then challenges Randy Orton for the title. Listen, JBL showed just how great a face he could be in the inter-brand war, but they never went further with that. Here is their chance. JBL as a heel has run his course. It is time he finished this feud with Benoit and then lose to Austin and just when it looks like he is done for, he turns face and puts a spark back into his career against wrestlers like Booker T, Fit Finley, Ken Kennedy, Mark Henry and Randy Orton. That makes some sense; doesnít it? As a heel, who hasnít he fought yet? Make it so.
Kane and Big Show vs. Masters and Carlito: Iím sorry if you disagree, but the last time these two teams fought, I felt it was the most competitive match Kane and Big Show had. It was actually a really good match and for some reason, some odd reason, I feel like Masters and Carlito are the faces in this match. The underdogs deserve the win. Big Show and Kane are almost heelish in their imposing ways. I really want to see something new happen. I really want to see some new blood with the tag-team titles. I want to see a team that gives other teams hope. Big Show and Kane are just too much with the belts. They have held on to it for too long. Time to drop the straps. Of course, Carlito and Masters will probably lose the belts right away and then breakup and start feuding with one another, but one run with the titles would be cool. Ha!! See how I worked in Carlitoís catchphrase.
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James: This is probably the best womenís feud since Lita vs. Trish. I didnít say best womenís match. I said best feud. From a storyline, this had the most buildup of any match on the card. I am really looking forward to seeing this match. I think James should take the title. Trish has held on to the belt for some time and I think we need to see a new champion. The only reason I would keep the belt on Trish would be to have James go absolutely berserk afterwards. But I think James with the title opens up more possibilities, because Ashley would get a match eventually and Trish would get a rematch. Itís better than Trish vs. Victoria all the time. I say this is one of three title changes on the show.
Boogeyman vs. Sharmell and Booker T: Obviously, Boogeyman wins this match. I am just happy to see Sharmell in wrestling gear. She is smoking hot. Awesome body. Maybe what should happen is Boogeyman works some type of voodoo magic and gets the new Smackdown announcer to come into the ring to help him and suddenly, she starts wrestling around with Sharmell and they start kissing. That would make this match the show stealer. There is potential here. If it happens, you read it here first. J Yea baby!!! Oh, but Boogeyman wins. Booker T goes further down the ranks of Smackdown and closer towards retirement.
Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle: The Playboy playmate has to win. I just hope there are a lot of cool moves in this match. I donít mean head scissor takedownsÖI mean the Go Daddy twirl, clothes being ripped and strange pinning predicaments. Hot!!! Yes, I know, Badseed is being really bad. But there are so many hot girls in the WWE these days with no other purpose in the ring, but to make me smile. So, who says Wrestlemania has to be that bad after all? LOL
Anyways, there could be at least one match. I honestly think that MNM should defend the tag-team titles against the Mexicools, London and Kendrick and Kid Kash and Jamie Knoble. That would be an awesome match and a great way to kick off Wrestlemania before giving us the crap that will follow (i.e. Boogeyman vs. Booker T and the Playboy Pillow Fight match). MNM deserves a chance to shine at Wrestlemania. They have worked hard. I would love to see them get to the big time.
So, there you have it. Those are my thoughts about the biggest show of the year. Obviously, the show could really go either way. I love Wrestlemania, but just like Wrestlemania 13 sans the Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart match, this one is just not looking too good on paper. Still, I am so ready to be surprised. Bring it on. Letís see what you got. Next week, I will tell you exactly what I thought. Will the Big Time be a Big Crime? Will I feel ripped off? Will I feel cheated? Will Badseed get the smoking hot babe? Tune in at some Badseed time, same Badseed channel. POW!! BAM!!! PEACE!!!
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