Badseed's Bottomline #367:
Weird World Wrestling
Hey yo! Whatís poppiní my little Badseeds. Wrestling is quite odd these days and some of it is working and some of it is just a tad out there for my tastes. Hereís a rundown on the weird and the wacky.
Vince McMahon and God: This has to be the most bizarre angle ever in wrestling. I mean, we have literally a scheduled match where Vince and Shane McMahon will take on HBK and God. Wow. I guess McMahon has accepted his place in Hell and at the same time HBK is probably saying to himself that they are bringing up the subject of God, so thatís always a good thing. ďThe fans will talk and maybe it will make a difference for some people,Ē he will say, and in a weird way, he would be right.
I just hope that God gets a really cool entrance complete with awesome pyro, a real kick ass theme and an entrance that involves levitating to the ring. And I really hope God doesnít sell punches. I mean, he is God after all. Are lightning bolts and such acts of God banned in this match? Ooooh Vince, make this angle exciting and ban acts of God. What will God do if he be disqualified for doingÖwell, anything. I canít wait.
Voices in my head: Will the WWE actually tie a movie into Kaneís gimmick. This is just really, really weird. Where were the voices last week? Why did they come out when the trailer was premiered? Will Kaneís voices only tell him to attack good guys? Is he turning heel? Will the voice turn out to be the Ultimate Warrior? That would explain a lot.
A Pirate amongst us: Paul Burchull is just strange. His attire is wacky. His ode to the Buccaneer is weird, but he can wrestle. I like his finisher. I enjoy his matches with Regal, but the mascara is odd and I donít like his attire. Did I say that already? And now Regal has to dress as a buxom wench. This is just way too much for me to handle. I canít see it lasting. I know they are going to get a jump on the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel, but what happens when all that fanfare ends? Burchull better enjoy the fun while it lasts.
The Boogeyman: Heís great. Who would have thought that the Tough Enough loser would be the most successful of all of them. The Boogeyman has gotten more play than even Maven got, but there is a reason. His gimmick, as odd as it is, is awesome Ė mixing Papa Shango, The Undertaker, The Missing Link and some other odd creatures to come up with the most original character I have ever seen. The bit where he bit off Jillian Hallís mole was disgusting and yet memorable. The bit where he kissed Sharmell with the worms in his mouth was disgusting and just so damn cool. Boogeyman has an opportunity to be a very successful WWE star, but donít expect him to win a title. Heís the star that should never want one, let along win one. Still, enjoy every antic. Iím glad heís here to stay.
Reality Check: Miz is coming to the WWE. Hereís the next Tough Enough ďloserĒ to do better than the winners. What a wacky vignette. He seems mad cool and it looks like he can play a cocky heel or face. It will be interested to see where they go. I say they should start as a heel. Make the fans turn him face. He has all the tools to succeed. Heís funny and he can work the mic. He should have won the last Tough Enough, which actually turned out to be a rather good deal for the WWE. I expect over time that Miz will shoot up the ranks of the WWE just as long as they donít make him a reality star shill like Simon Dean is for Richard Simmons videos.
Umaga: Dumb. This is not the 80ís. This gimmick will get old real quick. It is only going to help the manager get over. Jamal is out the door as soon as Osama, or whatever they are calling him now, is given a better wrestler to manage. Itís almost sad.
HHHís status: Is he a face or a heel. I donít think the WWE even knows, but suddenly, the HHH vs. John Cena angle has gotten very interesting with the inclusion of the Rated R Superstar. Where are they going here? Is this to help Cena gain popularity by aligning him with HHH in an odd way? Is it to help Cena get over since Edge is the most hated WWE star? Is it to help Edge elevate his role in the WWE? Is it to get HHH an 11th reign or have him push two young stars without a faction involved? Very intriguing. The HHH vs. John Cena feud went from a bore to the most anticipated angle each week. I canít wait to see what happens next.
Hey, will the Wrestling God be JBL? HmmmÖinteresting. Anyways, thatís all for this week. Until next time, thatís the weird, the wild and the wacky in the world of wrestling. Peace
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