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Badseed's Bottomline #397:

What Happened to the Stories?

By Badseed

Hey yo!  I am going to talk about some of the things that have been upsetting me as of late.  When it comes to wrestling storylines, there are none and when they do write one, they end so abruptly, are obvious or make little sense.  It is enough to drive a wrestling fan crazy. 

In the old days, wrestling was all about storylines.  Andre turned on Hulk Hogan.  It was a great story.  They started with a celebration marking Hoganís four years as champion, prompting Bobby Heenan to instigate and get Andre a trophy to mark his undefeated career.  Jesse Ventura was an instigator and Roddy Piper of all people seemed to be the most sensible guy in the group, trying to get down to the bottom of the story and having Hogan and Andre meet on his show.  The incident resulted in the startling scene of Andre pulling off Hoganís cross so forcibly that it made him bleed and prompted the most obvious, yet most poignant improv in Piperís career as he pointed out the blood and shocked us all.  Their first match at Wrestlemania III included the body slam heard around the world and Hogan won, but the feud continued for over a year with Ted Dibiase purchasing Andreís services and leading to the big evil twin referee, a title change and the WWE vacating the title for the very first time.  Randy Savage wins the title at Wrestlemania IV, teams with Hogan to beat Andre and Dibiase and then turns on Hogan in time for the next Wrestlemania.  It all stemmed from the Andre heel turn.  Everything was fluid.  Everything intertwined.  It all worked out. 

Wrestlemania III was a breeding ground for great storylines.  In addition to Hogan vs. Andre, it also saw the conclusion of a shocking face turn by Roddy Piper, who came back to see everyone turn against him and Adrian Adonis hosting a show upon his former Piperís Pit set.  Feuding with his former best friend Bob Orton, Don Muraco and Adrian Adonis, Piper ended up retiring after this feud, for at least a little while.  It was an intense match with a very emotional ending. 

We also saw the end of an epic feud between Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat.  Savage was IC champion.  He was wrestling Steamboat and in the match, he landed on his throat with a ring bell, putting Steamboat out of action.  Steamboat came back for Wrestlemania and at his side was George "The Animal" Steele who had been feuding with Savage over Elizabeth for over a year.  It was basically the end of numerous storylines.  Good writing leaves loose ends and then have them wrapped up, all in due time.  Itís why Lost is so awesome. 

Now what do we get?  We have Cena vs. Federline and just like in the old days, they are dragging it out all the way until New Yearís Day.  Are you kidding me?  Cena vs. Edge was a better storyline.  It was worth the time.  This is not.  If you are going to do a lengthy storyline, involve people fans care about.  K-Fed is not worth anyoneís time

Then you have Batista who comes back on fire or in a storyline sense, he was.  He never lost the title and he wants it back.  First, he comes back for revenge against the man who injured him, Mark Henry, but Henry injures himself and ruins the match.  Batista goes against Kennedy and loses!!  He lost!  That is not the way to guide him to a title match, but he gets one and doesnít win the title.  He keeps trying and he keeps being cheated.  He looks like a fool.  What they should do is have him get one more rematch for Wrestlemania and announce that he is taking a leave of absence until that day.  Then when the big show comes, Batista enters the ring in the best shape of his life and absolutely destroys Booker T.  The card should be stacked so no one cares too much about the quick match.  When wrestlers come in to congratulate Batista, he goes crazy and attacks them all, saying he was better off without the fans and that he wants to be a real animal again.  Over time, they develop Lashley; make him talk more (force him until he is good) and then lead it all up to Lashley and Batista at the next Wrestlemania.  Thatís how you build a storyline. 

In ECW, we have RVD chasing the title and slowly going back up the top of the ladder after being dethroned all the way back on July 4.  What a storyline!  About time.  Oh, but now RVD is back on top, ready to win his title back and they decide to add four other wrestlers in the mix; wrestlers who werenít screwed over and who didnít have to work as hard.  It will be ok if RVD wins the belt back.  Then he will have overcome so much to win the belt.  But if he doesnít, it cheapens the whole feud; the whole storyline.  Itís a joke.  We will soon see. 

The best storyline right now is DX vs. Edge and Randy Orton.  The other best storyline is Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero, but it is using the cheap heat of Eddie Guerreroís death.  And the next best storylines are the gradual Spirit Squad split because we never know when it will happen and the split between Eugene and Hacksaw Jim Duggan.  That was actually pretty good.  But we need better storylines.  Stuff like Austin vs. McMahon.  Stuff like Mick Foleyís rise to the top.  Stuff like Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven.  Stuff like CM Punk's storyline in Ring of Honor involving his girlfriend.  Stuff like we are seeing in TNA.  I mean, Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe is so well written.  AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels and the uniting of the two and the involvement of Samoa Joe; it was all perfect.  The Rhino vs. Christian feud was great.  The whole year-long storyline involving Sting winning back the TNA title.  I mean, TNA knows how to be creative.  WWE Creative is anything but.  Peace. 

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