Why You Shouldn't Care About Brangelina's Baby

By Justine Manzano

     So, as you all must know, unless you’ve been in a coma for the last few months (If you have, sorry!), Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt’s baby.  I’m writing this to say that you, the reader should not care.  You also shouldn’t care about who Paris is making a sex ta—I mean, dating, today, nor should you care about who is gay in Hollywood.  Now, we all listen to this stuff and nobody is saying you should close your ears to it entirely—it’s entertaining to see that those that are doing better than you are also capable of completely screwing up their lives.  We all do it.  It’s when people begin to take it personally that I begin to get a bit fed up.

     Rule # 1: You do not know any of these people!  Brad and Jenn are not your friends.  It is very difficult, when muddling through the media mess, to remember this.  After reading so many interviews and seeing them playing so many roles, it may become easy to forget that you do not know them.  You have never been to the coffee house with Rach—I mean Jennifer Aniston.  You don’t talk about humanitarian issues with Angelina Jolie.  So why refer to them by their first names as though you have had each other over for brunch?  If you’ve never shared a word, spoken or typed, with a person, or if you have and they wouldn’t remember who you are if you bumped into them on the street, they are not Brad or Tom—they are Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise.

     I’ll admit, I’m complaining about this one despite the fact that I, myself, do it at times, but if done willy-nilly, moments like this can easily progress to violations of rules 2 and 3.  So it’s best to start here and move up.   

     Rule # 2: Beware Psycho Paparazzi. The tabloids and the paparazzi are crazy people trying to make money—stop listening to them.  And that generally includes a majority of entertainment magazines and any entertainment show that airs from 7-8pm on network television, Eastern Standard Time. 

     All these tabloids do are exploit these people—real, regular people, who happen to have a job in the spotlight.  Now, we’ve all had moments that we’d rather not have recorded on film.  One in particular, I can share is the day I got so accidentally drunk on vodka and cranberry juice at my best friend’s birthday party that I vomited all over (and I mean all over) the bathroom in the Olive Garden.  Now, if I was famous, the story “Justine Manzano Has a Drinking Problem,” would have been all over the media.  Of course, that could be taking it completely out of context considering the last time I’d even had any kind of drink was months before.  Things get so far out of context that you aren’t even getting information that closely resembles the truth.  So if you can’t find the truth anywhere, why care so much?

     Rule # 3: Don’t take it personal.  The other day, while on the phone with a friend, they told me that they hadn’t seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith because they hated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  Why?  Because they don’t like their acting?  Not so much.  They hate Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie because she’s a “homewrecker” and he cheated on his beautiful wife, Jennifer.  What?!  Puh-leeze, people.  This is coming from a person who has done more questionable things than I can count using fingers and toes, and she’s judging a stranger without any knowledge of the situation.  So, here’s the rule: If they didn’t wreck your home, and they didn’t cheat on you, they aren’t your enemies. 

            The bottom line is, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and all the rest of these people are not there for you to like them.  They are there to perform.  To show their talent.  If they are talented, they are talented.  So, go to see the sex-tape girl’s movie if you think you’ll like it, and listen to the anorexic teenager’s new song, “Lizzie McGuire Binges and Purges.”  In the end it doesn’t matter.  If they are talented, enjoy.  They are there to entertain us.  Not to be our best friends. 


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