Destroy All Humans

Click here to buy it now: XB Destroy All Humans

Distributed by: THQ

Reviewed by Ismael Manzano


          I happened upon Destroy All Humans the same way I do most games that arenít of the Final Fantasy series: a friend of mine who, apparently, has no gaming system of his own bought it and played it at my house  Actually we split the game time, usually Iíll play the first half and heíll play the last half.  Such was the case with Destroy All Humans.

            At first glance I thought the game was quite stupid.  The graphics were borderline cartoonish, the premise was laughable and the settingó1950ís Americaówas sort of campy.  After a minute or two of seeing my friend play it, I was hooked and couldnít wait for my turn.  In the game, you play Crypto (add number here), sent to earth to retrieve a fallen comrade/clone, and to extract DNA from the humans so that your civilization can have a fresh supply and wouldnít have to keep cloning themselves over and over again.  Incidentally, every time you die, the number after your name goes up one because you get cloned again. 

            As Crypto you get an array of different weapons that you need to purchase with DNA points, but you start off with two handy ones: a zap-o-beam and the anal probe.  Thatís right, you read that right.  But it gets better.  When you charge up the anal probe meter and shoot a human, you extract their brain in one shot.  Itís the funniest thing Iíve ever seen.  Almost as funny as picking up cows and flinging them at a farmerósomething else you can do in this game.  The flying saucer is also a fun little toy that can be upgraded with DNA points.  You make your way through America, combating local hicks, police, military forces, and secret agents with special alien powers of their own. 

            This game is definitely worth the price of admission.  The dialogue is humorous and irreverent.  Definitely play this one with the volume up; the comments are half the reason the game is so much fun.  When youíre able to, Iíd recommend scanning everyoneís mind; youíll get a good laugh, I promise.  As I said before, the graphics arenít stellar, but they donít have to be and thatís not the point of the game anyway, so Iíll let that go.  The controls are as simple as a six button control could possibly get and the game play was fast and energeticóno lag time. 

            I was pleasantly surprised to see that, unlike some other games, the main opponent at the end was no push over.  Iím not saying it was impossible to beat or that youíll pull out your hair trying, but it was the hardest opponent in the game.  Others games out there seem to forget that the end should be difficult and climatic, but this one didnít. 

Unfortunately the game is too short, beatable within a few days worth of play.  Even though we only completed forty-seven percent of the game, I wasnít exactly compelled to go back and do all the little side missions availableóthey just werenít that interesting.  My biggest regret is that the alien couldnít drive.  After each mission youíre allowed free time to collect DNA, reek havoc and anally probe whomever you feel likeófun uh?.  It was very reminiscent of Grand Theft Auto, and would have been just hysterical if the alien were allowed to be behind the wheel of a truck or on a bike or something, but it was entertaining despite the absence of the road rage option. 

Overall, a good game worth its DNA in laughs. 

For feedback, visit our message board or e-mail the author at imanzano@g-pop.net


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