From the Desk of Natasia:

Deck the Halls With Catnip Presents!

by Natasia Minners

            Of all the crazy holidays my human celebrates, the one that I most enjoy has to be Christmas.  You would have to be insane not to love this holiday - all of the wrinkly, crinkly paper, all of the flashing lights, all of the neat catnip presents!  What’s not to like?!

            I’ll never forget my first Christmas tree.  My human prefers the kind you take out of a box and put together after much mumbling and grumbling about different sized branches and things not fitting where they are supposed to fit.  I never understood why she didn’t just get a real tree like other humans do.  She says it’s because of the smell and the tons of clean-up afterwards…Rascal says she’s just cheap.

            Anyways, the first time I saw this thing put together, I was in kitty glee.  There were shiny round things hanging from the tree, flashy stringy things wrapped around the tree and, best of all, lights that blinked in various different shades and variety.  Now, I hear that some of you kitties out there like to climb in the tree and hide, but I’m more partial to hanging out underneath, stretched out on that velvety smooth red thing that they call a tree skirt.  This is especially fun after the humans have placed wrapped goodies of numerous sizes and shapes under the tree.  I’ve had the most fun as my human frantically searched the entire house calling my name while I watched from my special comfy, cozy place under the tree.

            As for those nicely wrapped goodies - for some reason, at this time of year, humans find the need to hide things all over the house, only to wrap them later in multi-colored paper and hide them in plain sight under the tree.  Don’t get me wrong, I love this.  I love hiding along with the presents under the tree.  I love the sound the paper makes when I bat at it.  According to my human, I’m very well behaved - I never unwrap any of the presents under the tree.  The reality of the situation is that the human is very cunning - she never puts any of the yummy smelling stuff under the tree until Christmas Day.

            Every once in a while, she is silly enough to put stuff in my stocking that I simply have to inspect.  But, even then, my human is crafty - my stocking is the only one with a bell, so she knows if I’m peeking.  What do you expect?!  If you put something so interesting smelling in my stocking, why wouldn’t I want to check it out?!

            And opening presents - I just can’t get enough of that!  Al of that funny crinkly, wrinkly paper to hide in and pounce on!  All of those terrific smells coming from yummy cat treats and catnip filled toys.  I usually pass out, drooling, on one of those catnip scratchers by the end of the day with a happy grin on my face having pounced, jumped and cavorted (yes, I admit to some cavorting) all over the place.

            There’s only one part of Christmas that I truly despise and it really doesn’t actually take place on the day itself, but weeks before.  Somebody in the town I live in came up with this wonderful idea that Santa’s Helper should visit the neighborhood children in a big noisy red fire engine, with lights flashing, sirens blaring and loud Christmas music playing.  Now, this sort of thing may be enjoyable for human children, but for tiny creatures such as yours truly, this is all extremely scary…and eventually, it just becomes humiliating as I freeze in place, not knowing what to do, my human laughing the whole time.

            Sure, things get moved around during Christmas time and I do admit to some annoyance at this.  But all that moving around makes it that much easier for me to hide.  And how could I really be unhappy when all of that disorganization provides tons of fun hiding places and eventually yields catnip goodies and other assorted treats (for ideas on what to buy me, see Natasia’s Cat Toy Review).

            And when that big guy with the red coat and the huge bag of presents for me comes along, how can I resist Christmas!  After all, I just know all those presents in his bag are for me!  That’s right, like my human I believe in Santa Claus.  After all, I know my human is too klutsy to stick all of those cool gifts with my name on them under the tree and into my stocking without me noticing.  Yet, every year, there are tons of gifts for me that seem to appear only on Christmas morning.  Face it, there’s just no way my human is that good at hiding gifts from me…no way!

            In short, I can’t wait for Christmas to arrive.  My human has already started hiding things around the house.  She has been talking about putting up that cool tree already.  I can’t wait!  Meowy Catmas…er, Christmas to all and to all….keep that kitty catnip rolling in!!


To read more feline prose, check out the following links:

Rascal Sees A Therapist
Rascal Sees A Therapist - Part 2
Natasia Sees A Therapist
Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 2

Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 3
Natasia's Note to Grandma
Natasia's Cat Toy Review
Why I Hate Halloween

My Love-Hate Relationship With Thanksgiving

For feedback, visit our message board or e-mail the author at natasia@g-pop-net.