Rant

Why Smallville Would Be Better Without Clark 

by Ismael Manzano

     It’s time again, weblanders, for me to impart upon you a little bit of crazed wisdom based on my own pointless observations.  I was watching an episode of Smallville the other day—a show that I have watched almost religiously since the beginning—and something inside me snapped.  I was watching a scene between Clark (Tom Welling) and Lana (Kristin Kreuk), found myself so fed up I ended up throwing my pillow at the screen.  I had had enough.  I felt a rant building up to my throat, a low grumble that was just waiting to become a roar.  Well here it is. 

     I thought the concept for Smallville was a novel one, imaginative and full of possibilities.  Follow the life of Clark Kent before he became Superman, before Lex Luther and him became enemies—great idea.  Little did I know that there was a big problem with the show right from the beginning.  Clark, is a complete hypocritical tool!  There, I said it.  He's a hypocrite with his friends, but he's an especially big hypocrite with the purported love of his life, Lana Lang.  Now, I understand that this is a series and that in a series, it’s usually best to prolong a romantic encounter as long as possible because once the two main characters are together and happy, the show begins to lose its tension.  I understand this, but that does not change the fact that Clark’s character is the most annoying and idiotic character on the entire show.  If it were up to me I’d remove the whinny, farm boy altogether and change the name of the show to Lexville—although then the problem of the show would be trying to figure out a way to make Lex get knocked out every week instead of every other week.

     Why do I hate Clark so much?  Simple.  He has lied to every one of his friends, repeatedly and then has the nerve to claim the moral highroad with them--mostly Lex--every time they do something wrong or lie to him about anything.  And for what?  To protect his powers?  Like he's the only one in the entire town with powers.  He's not that special!  Only in his own, diluted mind!  I mean, really!  They live in a town that is rife with meteor rocks that give people strange abilities, and the writers expect us to believe that Clark is so selfish, so self-centered that can’t at least tell his friends that the meteor rocks have given him special powers! 

     —And on a side note:  WHY HAVEN’T THE EPA OR THE GOVERNMENT COME INTO SMALLVILLE AND CLEARED ALL THAT RADIOACTIVE CRAP OUT OF THERE—

     What’s worse is that Clark habitually shows off his superpowers when his friends blink or turn their heads for a second, and then has the audacity to persist that he’s just a normal boy all the time.  What a f’ing insult.  Like the time that Clark was shot—when he was temporarily vulnerable—and everyone thought that he had died.  When he regained his powers and was healed, he took a minute to stop a  nuclear missile from blowing up his town.  So what does he do, newly back from the dead and wearing the smoking, charred clothing that he had on when he exploded the missile?  He goes to see Lana.  He doesn’t even change his clothing.  And of course, he still persists that he’s normal. 

      And anytime his girlfriend asks him anything about the meteors or the spaceship that she saw land in the second shower, he changes the subject, blames her or does something equally stupid and he still has the nerve to be upset with her for hiding the fact that she’s been talking to Lex about the space ship!!  What a #*#*!  I mean, for crying out loud—AHHHH—Lana herself—because of the meteors or something else entirely—has been a witch and a vampire, or otherwise possessed by something or another, and he can not even admit that he has powers that go beyond the norm. 

     And another thing, I would not blame Lex one bit for hating Clark or Superman.  They’re supposed to be friends, and Clark has been lying to him since day one, hiding his powers from a guy he was supposed to trust, while calling upon Lex and his money to do him favor after favor after favor after favor after favor after favor after favor after favor.  What a tool!! 

     What I would like to see happen, to solidify Lex’s heel turn, is for Clark—in his pursuit of his own selfish self-preservation—to allow someone Lex cares about to die rather than reveal his powers in front of anyone.  Anyway, until that happens, I’ll be watching, not for Clark, anymore, but for the chance that one day they’ll bring a young Bruce Wayne on the show to give ‘Cleavage Chloe’ the loving she should have gotten from Clark. 

     Until something else gets my goat, so long, weblanders. 

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