From the Desk of Natasia:
An Educated Kitty: Term 2
by Natasia Minners
Well, it’s that time of the year again. Time to decide what courses I will be taking at KCU (Kitty Cat University) to further my education. What? You say you didn’t known that KCU existed? Well, KCU has been offering advanced education courses for cats for over fifty years. What for, you say?! Are you one of those individuals who would shun a cat’s right to receive a quality education simply because she walks on all fours and sports a bit more fur than you? Would you think twice about sending a dog to Obedience School? Of course not - you want that beast to be subservient to you…the nerve!
Anyway, now that I’ve gotten my fur in a fluff, let me just say that I have been doing well at the KCU. Classes are graded differently here than in human schools, although in some aspects, they are the same. Take, for example, the letter grading process. Both types of schools offer letter grades, but the letters in each type of school mean something different. A human’s top grade in college would be an “A“, but at KCU, the top grade is “P” for Purrrfect. A “B” in a human’s school would be an “MR” at KCU for Meowreow. A human school’s “C” is actually an “M” at KCU for Meow or mediocre work. A Meh at KCU is equal to a D in human colleges and, well, “F” is the same in both schools, but I find it truly hard to believe that anyone of the feline persuasion would be caught pulling an “F” in any course.
Last term I received all P’s which I have been told is good for a Freshkitty, but I’ve also been warned that the courses get harder from here. I’ve already looked through the course catalog and decided on some really interesting classes. I will be doubling up on history this year, taking Famous Cats in Ancient History I as well as Famous Cats in American History I. For my gym class, I was considering taking some Kitty Yoga. As I grow older, the old joints seem to crack and creak all the time and I’ve been wondering if Kitty Yoga couldn’t do something about that. Romance Languages of the Felines is another pick thanks to an acquaintance I made during my last term at KCU. And how could I pass up Cats in Literature? I’m bound to hear about Max Thompson in this class. Who is Max Thompson, you might ask? Only my favorite cat author of all time!
I’ve been contemplating moving into a dorm this year. My acquaintance Conrad le Cat, otherwise known as The Cat’s Meow, suggested it, saying that if I lived on campus we would be able to spend more time together and not have to go sneaking around. I keep trying to tell him about Nuzzle, but it hasn’t really registered with Conrad yet. He’s so darn persistent…I like that in a cat! But really, it would be nice to get some time away from the human…then again, it is the human who has been treating me to all sorts of new foods. Why, just today I was given chicken and pumpkin in gravy - I love pumpkin! And yesterday, I not only got duck chunks in sauce for lunch, but a duck and pea treat for snack later. And who will clean out my toilet (litter box to you humans) and add more toilet paper (cat litter)? Hmmm…I’ll have to think long and hard about this before making a decision.
I have also heard that there are a number of scholarships available to kitties who have performed consistently well in school. There are three I’ve been eyeing up in particular: the Morris Memorial Scholarship, the Feline Performance Scholarship and the Top Cat Educational Prowess Award. Each one offers the opportunity for me to attend KCU for next to nothing, but do I really want to do that. After all, my human pays for my schooling (though I doubt she knows it) and I would just love to get some payback for the horrible summer vacation she treated me to.
I can’t wait to start my new classes. If you have any suggestions as to what courses I should check out, please feel free to email me at natasia@g-pop-net - I’m always open to new ideas and want my learning experience to be as diverse as possible.
To read more feline prose, check out the following links:
Rascal Sees A Therapist
Rascal Sees A Therapist - Part 2
Natasia Sees A Therapist
Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 2
Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 3
Natasia's Note to Grandma
Natasia's Cat Toy Review
Why I Hate Halloween
My Love-Hate Relationship With Thanksgiving
Deck the Halls with Catnip Presents!
Ringing in the New Year with Catnip and Fancy Feast
Thoughts of Spring
Feed Me (Fancy Feast)
My Summer Vacation