Annoying Trip Through The City
by Jon Minners
I am from the Bronx and I currently live in Queens, so it goes without saying that I do my best to avoid Manhattan at all costs, but even just passing through the City can be an annoying feat. It just annoys so much to know that there are that many foolish people in the world and not all of them are tourists.
I am just going to talk about one specific day. All the stupid came out in one day. First off, it was raining and windy, the kind of day where even Rihanna couldn't save you. The rain would get under the umbrella and you end up wet regardless of the fact that you spent $20 for an umbrella you are going to lose anyways. I hate the rain. But at least on this day, the trains worked. For some reason, if it rains in Queens, the trains shut down. It could be a drizzle and suddenly, the trains can no longer run, but on this day, the trains miraculously ran fine. YAY.
So, I am coming back from the Bronx to pick up my girlfriend in Manhattan. I get on the #6 train in the Bronx and it is a smooth ride. I catch one of the handicap seats that go up, the kind people seem to forget they were sitting on when they get up and it sounds like a gunshot. I love these seats, because I can read a paper or watch my Zune without someone peaking behind me or over my shoulder to see exactly what it is I am doing. That is so annoying. If you cannot afford the 50 cents to buy a paper, watch the news before you leave the house and if I have ear plugs on and am watching a show on my Zune, you can't hear it anyways, so mind your own business.
I get to 34th Street where I have to pick up my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend, but I wish she worked somewhere better. I get out of the train and have to walk four blocks and almost three avenues, so I just want to get it over with, but every slacker in the world decides it's "Walk slowly and block the person behind you day." If you can't walk fast, take a bus or a cab and let traffic flow smoothly. It's fine when it is one person, but couples do this and I can't get around them. And why do they move when I move, as if they are trying to stop me. Keep it single file, just like with cars...there should be a fast lane for quick walkers.
Here is where my hatred for all things tourist come in. You have buildings where you come from. Stop staring like you never saw a video monitor in the middle of the street before. "Ooooh...look, it says Coca Cola." MOVE!!!!! And stop taking pictures of everything you see. There is really nothing special about New York. I think everyone around the world should be forced to live in New York for a month so they become bored with the place and eventually, the sight of kids break dancing in the street, a man who moves and looks like a robot, a nut who wears underwear and a cowboy hat and whatever other wacko is out there, are no longer interesting enough to stop for as people try to get to work, the movies, reservations or just to pick up their girlfriend on time. MOVE!!!!
So, I get to my girlfriend's office and we head back, both of us not holding hands like other couples, as we dart in and around people, because Manhattan is not the place
Check out more random thoughts from Jon Minners at his blog site: Blogging in Place