To Destroy Your Boyfriends Confidence

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Reviewed by Justine Manzano


      I have to admit that when it came to reviewing Chach's four track long CD, I made a few snap judgments based on its cover.  I know that "they" say you aren't supposed to do that, but sometimes, my thorough examination of a CD's packaging gives me an accurate clue into whether or not the next half hour of my life will be spent in pain or pleasure.  With Chach, my outlook wasn't bright.  Here I was, staring at a CD by a band whose name sounds like a rejected nickname for a female body part and, as can only be expected from the music of late, half-naked chicks on the cover to back it up.  The band's garish name was displayed garishly in neon pink that is supposed to make you think of the 80's.  I was pretty sure that the combination of these things meant 30 minutes of pain.  Sadly, I wasn't too far off.   

      Chach consists of lead vocalist Chad Roth, Mimi Saltyank on guitars and percussion, Jimi Sweeney on guitars, Dawn Shoudt on bass and James Barker on drums.  Their sound is a kind of dirty rock, but not in the way of a punk rock band.  I would guess that the best way to describe it would be "Backwoods Rock."  The band claims to be a throwback to the 80's, "A return to a perversion of the soundtrack of the good times."  Wondering what the hell that's supposed to mean?  Then you should have an idea of how Chach's lyric's sound.

     Even reading along with the music gave me no hint of what these songs were supposed to mean.   The lyrics to one song, "Monte Carlo", in which Roth sings, "Don't take off your shoes--my eyes are bleeding," made me scream "WHAT?!" so loud that I scared my husband out of his skin. 

     The best of the four songs on the CD, "From the Throne", even had some serious "HUH?", moments.  The sound on this one is solid, but Roth doesn't enunciate his words and sounds as though he has marbles in his mouth.  It may have worked for Nirvana, but Roth is no Cobain and it gets really annoying to have someone singing a mellow chorus and be completely unable to understand.

     In all four songs, the rock beats proved decent enough but not well enough to fare well with jumbled, meaningless lyrics or incoherent, mumbled vocals.  In the end, Chach is simply mediocre.  And mediocre doesn't get a band very far in the music business.

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