Chloe's Litter Box:
A Few Words About Memorial Day
Celebrating the Kitty
by Chloe Minners
On Memorial Day, we are supposed to be celebrating the men and women who served this country in the Armed Forces. Or at least that’s what Wikipedia says. I wonder why it is that we don’t celebrate the furry members of the Armed Forces. What do I mean? Well, they don’t let us cats join the military for some reason…perhaps this country is afraid of animals that come with their own armament – my teeth and claws are deadly weapons. Yet, they let DOGS join…incredibly prejudiced of the military if you ask me.
Anyways, so humans are supposed to celebrate their human military personnel. But who said that they are supposed to celebrate them with cookouts and alcoholic beverages? Humans have barbecues featuring really tasty, mouthwatering foods…foods that I might be interested in, like hamburgers, chicken, sausages, hot dogs (which look lots of fun to play with, being that they roll around a lot), but no one ever considers the cat.
No, everyone shares with the dog instead. In fact, they actually have specialty food for the dogs that I am sure they will be using to celebrate Memorial Day with. Did you know that they have ice cream for dogs? Doggy beer? I don’t know about beer – I think it smells horrible – but ice cream…now that’s something I can get on board with. I once snuck a taste of my human’s vanilla ice cream and I found it to be delectable.
So, my human’s project is to get me something special for Memorial Day. That’s all I’m asking for and it isn’t unreasonable. We kitties are an important part of society, fighting off the vermin population to make you more comfortable and less germ-infested, and deserve to be celebrated. So get me something special for the holiday. If you fail, I will cut you. Yup, you heard me right, I will cut you. I was in a gang you know – you’ve never heard of The Orphan Kitties of Al-Kat-Raz?