Action / Science Fiction
 

Love Story 2050

Directed By: Harman Baweja

Distributed By: Baweja Movies Pvt. Ltd.
 

Reviewed by Frank L. Ocasio

 

            Once every great while, an anomaly occurs.

            If you're like me, you learned the term from The Matrix Reloaded. If not, well, it means a systemic oddity, to put it short. An example would be a swimming pigeon. A talking cat. A painting elephant.

            Or Love Story 2050.

            Not because it's does something incredibly well, but because it does many, many things incredibly wrong in the best possible way you can imagine. The result? Pure movie-making horror that has never been so irrationally enjoyable.

            Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves actually; there's something to keep in mind: You won't enjoy this movie if you don't enjoy watching comically terrible, terrible movies. And then, even if you think you do, don't run out and see this one until you read my synopsis, for your sake.

            First of all, Love Story 2050 is a Bollywood sci-fi movie.

            ... Still with me? Okay. Your protagonist is Karan (Harman Baweja), a young , rich, bachelor, playboy who seems eternally depressed about the death of his mother and the carelessness of his father where their relationship is concerned. Because he feels so alone, he invests his time in extreme sports.

            That all changes when he meets Sana (Priyanka Chopra), an intelligent woman who meets Karan by extreme chance at an extreme dirt bike race. Well... at least after Karan first lays eyes on her playing with butterflies. But whatever--that doesn't matter. What matters is, the next hour and a half follows Karan's attempts to win her over and, obviously, their relationship.

            But man, I can't even explain everything that happens here. Karan encourages Sana to steal on their second date!

            Also, after knocking over a guys' bag of chips while chasing Sana's bus, Karan proceeds to dodge around said guy and a batch of his friends who are trying to attack him. And Karan does this by jumping over railings--hand-hold, stair railings--over and over again. And not in an interesting way, or a way that makes sense; it seems more likely that Harman just improv-ed how he would jump around and the Australian ruffians had to improv how to not catch him).

            And there's more! Karan chasing Sana's bus turns into a terrible Le Parkour nightmare where Karan climbs up onto an overhang bridge only to immediately drop down the other side--to the street he was just on--before continuing the chase. On date number two, the thing that Sana steals is an oven mitt (?) of some kind that has small animal dolls on each finger, which she immediately names Winkydinks. Her cousins play Xbox, which for some reason is a laptop that controls such random things as the sprinklers on the lawn. And overall, nothing compares to the relationship between Karan and Sana in terms of pure sappiness.

            And the really awesome thing is... this is only half the movie! And the other half takes all of these insane issues so much farther that words won't really do it justice. All I can say is, in the 2050 part of Love Story 2050 (also an hour and a half long), Karan uses his Uncle Ya's time machine to go into the future where there's an evil sorcerer/scientist named Dr. Hoshi, Sana's reincarnation, who's a pop super star named Zeisha, and--horrific marvel among marvels--Boo, a talking, pink, android teddy bear that has a blue mohawk, always whines, and never, ever does anything right or anything that matters. There's a dance number in which Karan dances with robots and a droid named Q-T that calls Karan "Sec-C". Karan also has to fight an evil robot clone of himself, and...

            Gah. I have to stop. I can go on for hours here. Just, if you've laughed or said "WHAT?" at anything written here, just see Love Story 2050. You'll be terrified and appalled, but if you watch it with friends who also love/hate terrible movies, it will be one of the best experiences of your entire life.

One more thing before I quit: I saw Love Story 2050 at the Empire 25 at Times Square. Unfortunately, it's not showing there anymore, which sucks because I was planning a second viewing with even more friends. At this point, I think we'll just have to wait for a Region 1 release. Keep your fingers crossed, people.

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