From the Desk of Natasia:
Ringing in the New Year with Catnip and Fancy Feast
by Natasia Minners
Humans have such strange habits. Every year, they celebrate the day they were born…well, some humans do anyway. They get a few gifts and say that they are one year older and one year wiser. Of course, I beg to differ, but they don’t care about my opinion on the matter. Then, on this holiday called Christmas, they celebrate the birth of someone they have never met and hand gifts to each other…shouldn’t they hand the gifts over to the person whose birthday they are celebrating? Oh well, at least I get presents.
But at 12am on December 31st, humans celebrate the birth of the new year. Now this, I find confusing. No presents are exchanged. It’s a birthday, right? The birth of the new year should require a gift exchange, no? Instead, they drink a toast to the new year, stay up late and make promises to themselves that they never keep called resolutions. Well, this year, I have decided to partake in this new year’s resolution tradition. Below is a list of resolutions that I have made for 2010...and believe me, I plan on keeping to every single one on the list.
2. I will eat more Fancy Feast - see resolution #1.
3. I will sing louder and longer each night just before bed - a kitty needs to clear her throat on occasion and this is the perfect time to do so, despite what my human thinks.
4. It is MY couch and everyone else will be made aware of this in every way shape or form available to me. The only one allowed to sit there will be me…all others must first ask permission before I even consider sharing.
5. I will renegotiate terms regarding my allowance. My human always talks about this allowance, but I never see it. In fact, she often says that I buy presents for her and other people with this allowance I have never seen. I can only assume that my brother, Rascal, negotiated these terms - he wasn’t really very knowledgeable about such things. When I am done, I will not only be receiving this allowance in the form of Fancy Feast and catnip, but I will be receiving a raise as well!
6. The human will spend less time sitting in front of the computer and more time petting me. Trust me, I can make this happen.
So, while my human and her friends and relatives celebrating the new year with tons of fattening foods, horrible music, nasty tasting bubbly drinks and a big lighted ball, I plan to ring in the new year with catnip and Fancy Feast. I wish you and all of your loved ones a very happy new year! May your treats be plentiful, may your water dish never be empty and may your food dish overflow!
To read more feline prose, check out the following links:
Rascal Sees A Therapist
Rascal Sees A Therapist - Part 2
Natasia Sees A Therapist
Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 2
Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 3
Natasia's Note to Grandma
Natasia's Cat Toy Review
Why I Hate Halloween
My Love-Hate Relationship With Thanksgiving
Deck the Halls with Catnip Presents!