Short Story

Natasia Sees A Therapist

by Melissa Minners

Therapist: Good afternoon, Natasia.  Please have a seat.  What brings you to my office today?

Natasia: Mreow, my brother, Rascal, used to come here a lot...especially after he was caught with that sack of catnip.  He said you helped him get through C.A.A.

Therapist: Ah, yes, Catnip Addictions Anonymous…I see.  And are you having a catnip problem?

Natasia: Meh.  I like the stuff, but I wouldn’t say that I have a problem.  Actually, I have been having some companionship issues.

Therapist: Really?  Please continue.

Natasia: Mreow, this all started when Rascal was kidnapped.

Therapist: Kidnapped?!

Natasia: Mreh!  One day, Mommy scooped him up, put him in that carrier / prison thingy and left.  He never came back.  Bad things happen whenever that cage comes out of storage!  My mommy puts me in that thing every time I have to go to the doctor…but I always come back after.  When Rascal didn’t come back home, I just figured that the catnip addiction had finally caught up with him.  Maybe he stiffed his dealer…or maybe he was sent to Al-Kat-Raz.

Therapist: Alcatraz Prison isn’t in use anymore.

Natasia: Mreow, maybe Sing-Sing…but I doubt it…he didn’t have such a great voice.  Anyways, when he left, I was lonely. 

Therapist: Naturally. 

Natasia:  Mreow, I looked all over the house for him…called for him…checked under the beds and behind the furniture…I guess I was kinda loud.  My mommy put me in that prison transport thing and brought me to the doctor.  Silly woman!!

Therapist: I’m sure that she was only looking out for your welfare.

Natasia: Hiss!!!!  Sure!  Take her side!! 

Therapist: Now, now.  Don’t have a hissy fit.  Finish your story.

Natasia: Mreow, I waited for years for Rascal to return…two long, lonely years.  Finally, I decided it was time to move on.

Therapist: I thought Rascal was your brother.

Natasia: Hiss!!!  Are you judging me!!

Therapist: What?!  No!  I would never…

Natasia: Listen, sister, I didn’t come here to talk about my past love life!  I came here to talk about the present situation! 

Therapist: I’m sorry…please, continue.

Natasia: As I was saying, I decided it was time to move on and soon enough, I met someone…but Mommy doesn’t approve.

Therapist: Why not?

Natasia: Mreow don’t know!  He’s handsome, with a dark complexion, soulful eyes, a soft touch – a strong, sensitive silent time that likes to snuggle.  His name is even adorrrable – Nuzzle.  Look, here’s a picture of him.

Therapist: Ah.  I see.

Natasia: We started sneaking around after the first time Mommy said something.  I would usually wait until Mom was asleep, then sneak over to his place.  But the other night, I decided to bring him to mine – that’s when I got caught. 

Therapist: You do realize that Nuzzle is a dog? 

Natasia: Hiss!!!  Here we go again!  Look, our love is pure and stretches across all boundries.

Therapist: A stuffed dog.

Natasia: Listen lady, my chocolate brown lab of my life is everything to me!!

Therapist: Well, then, why are you here?

Natasia: Mreow, our last time together, I didn’t use protection.  Do you think I could be pregnant?

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