From the Desk of Natasia: Natasia's Cat Toy Review by Natasia Minners               Mrerow!  I’ve finally gotten that human of mine out of the house!  Now it’s just you, me and this computer.  This may take me a while - computer keys were just not made for beings of my fine stature and I am forced to type one paw nail at a time - but I think what I have to say is important to all of you pets out there.              How many times has your human bought you something that you had no use for?  All those toys sitting there, building up dust, when the one toy you’ve had your hopes set on receiving remains on the shelf at the local pet store?  This article is for those of us cats who wish their humans had a clue as to what cats want.             Toys - I have quite a few.  I have toys that crinkle, toys that rattle, toys that bounce, toys that swing.  You name it, I probably have it, but the one thing my human doesn’t understand is that I only have a desire for a select few.             Any toy with catnip in it is a plus.  My personal favorites are the Kong brand refillable catnip toys.  These are small hollow animals with backs that open up so your human can fill them with catnip.  The backs are sealed with an impossible for cats to open velcro enclosure - you don’t know how long I’ve been trying to pry them open.  Humans can go crazy picking out all of the cutesy styles like teddy bears, ducks, frogs, etc., but we just love that they’re soft and smell of catnip.  I also love catnip sacks - burlap sacks filled with catnip - and catnip toys in the shape of knit Christmas stockings …mmmmm…yummy!             Fishing rod toys are also a lot of fun.  Don’t you just love things that dangle and are attached to string?!  Well, my human has loads of fun tossing the fish at the end of the string and then watching me do all sorts of acrobatics trying to catch it as she reels it back in.  Not too embarrassing, right?  Well, during those more embarrassing moments when I land on my butt pawing at air, I just remind myself that I’m getting some much needed exercise…and so is my human.             I also like other dangling toys.  You know, the kind with elastic strings that you can hang from things.  My favorite dangler was given to me on Halloween - a fluffy, white ghost.  I loved it so much, they went out and bought me another one when the string broke.             Mice -  I can take them or leave them.  Sometimes I’m in the mood and sometimes I can’t be bothered.  My human just bought me a new package of mice for my birthday.  According to her, they are designed to stimulate me.  Each one is a different texture with a different style of tail.  If you ask me, they’re just like any other mouse and I’ll treat them as such.             Crinkle toys - I’ll never understand these.  Just because I like the crinkling sounds that bags make doesn’t mean that I want a crinkle toy.  I have ones that look like Garfield and Odie and round ball-like crinkle toys, but the only one I can be bothered with came from one of my uncle’s girlfriends - a crinkle toy featuring the Disney character Figaro the Cat.             Balls - my brother was more into these.  Actually, I liked them when I was a much younger kitten, but I never played fetch like my brother - that’s a dog’s game and best left to those mindless creatures.  I like to bat a ball around every so often, but after a couple of times, I grow bored.  The most enjoyable ball I have is made from green and yellow yarn and has a bell attached.  I like this one because I can either bat it around, or toss it by catching my nail on the yarn.  Meow!  I can really make that ball fly!             Scratching posts - mreow, mreow, mreow, have I ever put my owner through hell with those.  She once bought me and my brother a huge scratching post in the shape of a mouse.  It had a grooming comb for a tail and pipe cleaners for whiskers.  The tail was kind of cool until it fell off, but we only used it whenever she wasn’t around.  It now sits in a corner collecting dust as does the pedestal she bought me to keep my food away from my then rotund brother.  I only liked this thing because it got me closer to the window.  I could watch the world from my perch.  Now that it’s not near a window, I can’t be bothered.  Neither can I be bothered with the mini cat condo - when it was on the windowsill, it was cool to hide in, but now that it’s on the floor, I only sit in it once in a while.             No, the coolest scratching post has to be Fat Cat Big Mama’s Scratch-O-Rama!  Made from corrugated cardboard, filled with the finest catnip and supplemented with yarn danglers on each end, who could go wrong with this thing?!  I love laying on it and rolling around in the essence of ‘nip.  Plus, it’s great for keeping my nails nice and sharp.             Now, I know most of us don’t consider grooming a fun task, but my human once bought me an innovative toy that allows me to groom while still sorta playing.  It’s the Stylin’ Kitty Hair Groomer and comes with its own scratch pad with a neat brush attached in the shape of an upside down “U”.  I can crawl under it, brush against the side of it, hide in it and all the while, I’m also grooming myself.  What a neat gift!             Yeah, sometimes she does well, but most times she simply doesn’t understand us cats.  We’d be happier with the bags and boxes the gifts came in than the actual gift itself!  Heck, I don’t care how much money she spent on the toy.  No matter how expensive it is, if I don’t like it, I ain’t playing with it.  That mouse-shaped cat scratcher was super expensive, but I can’t be bothered with that.  Instead, I play with an elongated brown felt thing that looks like a turd that my uncle bought me for a buck.  Silly humans!             So, the next time your human feels the need to buy you something to add to the pile of dusty toys you never wanted, why don’t you steer them toward this article and give them some more constructive ideas as to what a cat wants and what a cat needs.     To read more feline prose, check out the following links: Rascal Sees A Therapist Rascal Sees A Therapist - Part 2 Natasia Sees A Therapist Natasia Sees A Therapist - Part 2 Natasia's Note to Grandma For feedback, visit our message board or e-mail the author at natasia@g-pop-net.