Sex Kittens: Single Cats Seeking Same
Author: Chris Akins
Published By: Sterling Publishing
Reviewed by Melissa Minners
Every day, millions of people search for their soul mate. Some explore the club scene. Others look for their perfect match in the grocery store. Still others believe that they will find the love of their life while doing their laundry or in the middle of a church sermon. But a growing number of people are turning to dating services and personal ads to find that special someone, whether it be for one night of fun, or a lifetime full of love. Maybe you’ve explored these options yourself…or perhaps you know someone who placed an ad in their local paper hoping that the love of their life would respond. We’ve all seen these ads before: S.W.F. seeking S.W.M. for a night of raw passion with no strings attached, S.B.F. seeking same for moonlit walks, romantic dinners and maybe something more. Now, imagine that the individual placing the ad was of the feline nature. That’s right; I’m talking about your every day house cat! What would your favorite Tom or Queen want to say in their ad?
Chris Akins is crazy enough to imagine just that in Sex Kittens: Single Cats Seeking Same. This book contains over 200 pages of kitty personal ads, complete with photos. Each page is designed to match personal ads and dating service files. They contain categories such as What I’m Looking For, Why You Want to Get to Know Me, My Ideal Date Includes, My Favorite Physical Activities, What’s In My Bedroom, My Motto, A Secret Most Others Don’t Know About Me and more. The photos depict a variety of cats in various poses. In addition, these ads are divided into sections: Toms Seeking Queens, Queens Seeking Toms, Toms Seeking Toms, Queens Seeking Queens, and Anything Goes.
There is an introduction chapter explaining the hardships that cats face when trying to find their perfect mate. The introduction page is worded much like the introduction page for any dating service: “If you’re reading this book, you’re probably one of the millions of cats across the country who thinks that he or she is alone….You’ve probably tried all of the basic routes…You’ve tried parties. Allies. Random hook-ups in the park…Mew no more! In Sex Kittens, you can browse the ads of other single cats in the privacy of your own home, and at your own leisure.” The chapter goes on to give a brief description of each section, the code system (example: CWQ iso PAT means Crossbred Whole Queen in search of Purebred Altered Tom), and A Cat’s Guide to Fishing and Hunting, which outlines what you should or shouldn’t do on your date. The safety tips are particularly funny as they begin outlining what any human should watch out for on a date, such as always telling your friends where you are going or not giving out personal contact information until you get to know your date better. Then, the safety tips begin to become tailor-made for the feline variety: “Look for telltale signs of trouble in your date: missing ears or tail segments…constant repetitive scratching…Carry a tiny spray bottle of water with you, in case you need to dissuade your dinner date from following you home at the end of the evening.” There is a section on grooming and etiquette as well.
Chris Akins proves himself to be highly imaginative and fun loving with his creation of Sex Kittens. Each page elicits laughter as we read about what cats might say to attract other cats. No two pages are alike in their descriptions. The photos attached to each ad often times are as funny as the ads themselves. I can’t find one single thing I loved most about this book. Every part of it was pure fun and laughter from page one. In fact, if you read closely enough, you will note a disclaimer warning that this is not a book that encourages animal mating. That in itself was enough to bring about gales of laughter. If I had to choose a favorite section, I would choose the Introduction chapter which perfectly spoofs all dating services in such an imaginative way. Chris Akins is one sick puppy…er…human.
Sex Kittens: Single Cats Seeking Same comes highly recommended for anyone who could use a laugh. Cat lovers will simply love it! If the going rate of $9.95 is a bit steep for you, I’m sure you could find it at a discount in some dog-lover’s store or auction page. But be warned, this book contains explicit content – reader’s discretion is advised.