Feature Article   The Commercials of Super Bowl XLIV by Melissa Minners                Well, we have arrived!  Yes, folks, it's that time of the year again - time to eat and drink too much and root on our favorite football team as they strive to become known as the very best of the year.  That's right, it's time for the Super Bowl and the teams vying for the Super Bowl XLIV trophy are two of the most challenging teams of 2010.  We have the New Orleans Saints, appearing in a Super Bowl for the first time in the history of the team.  Four years after the challenges presented by the disaster Hurricane Katrina left in her wake in Louisiana, this is one state that could really use a victory.  Standing in their way, the Indianapolis Colts, led by one of the most talented quarterbacks in football, Peyton Manning.  Oh, did I mention that Peyton's dad used to play for the Saints.  What an interesting match-up!             And yet, we all know that some folks really aren't concerned with the game itself.  No, these people are here to have a good time eating, drinking and watching the commercials.  That's right, the commercials!  Some of the most inventive and lucrative commercial campaigns can be found playing during the breaks in the game.  Millions of dollars are poured into advertising each year.  With the change in the economy, the price of an ad was dropped, offering the possibility of even more inventive commercials thanks to a lower price tag on time slots.  With that in mind, many commercial lovers sat glued to the screen, waiting for a pause in the football action so they can get a look at the new commercials their favorite companies had to offer.             Now, I may be a commercial snob, but I have to say that I found the commercials of Super Bowl XLIV to be a bit disappointing.  Sure, there were some imaginative ads, but those were few and far between.  Some companies, like Teleflora, recycled old commercials, while some, including a great many car commercials, went for the dry approach.  And, in my opinion, there were far too many commercials advertising shows on CBS.  However, there were quite a few commercials worth mentioning from companies that have been around the block quite a few times and some relatively new to the Super Bowl commercial advertising game.             We begin with one company who knows quite a bit about advertising during the Super Bowl - Budweiser.  We have grown quite accustomed to those silly Bud Light commercials and this year was no exception.  We had the house made entirely out of Bud Light cans and bottles, ransacked by the crowd of party-goers once they realized that these weren't discards, but actually cans and bottles full of Bud Light beer.  That was followed later by synthesizer-enhanced Bud Light drinkers talking to one another about a Bud Light party - pretty lame if you ask me.  Then there was the Bud Light stranded on a deserted island commercial.  After a plane crash, dozens of passengers have been stranded on a deserted island when one cries out that she's found the plane's radio equipment and it's in working order.  That announcement means nothing as soon as another passenger discovers the drink cart full of Bud Light.  Suddenly everyone forgets their plight in preference of some cold, refreshing brew.  There were the Bud Light scientists who decided to party hearty before the world came to an end thanks to a meteor strike.  They continued to party after a tiny glowing pebble hit the telescope and the world was safe once more.  And of course, one cannot forget the book club commercial in which the male softball team decides to join the women's book club after learning that they serve Bud Light at each meeting.             Each time I saw a Bud Light commercial, I laughed, but I was waiting for the Super Bowl tradition - the Clydesdale commercial.  When the first regular Budweiser beer ad came on, I couldn't help but laugh.  The scenario was too funny - the bridge is out and the Budweiser delivery truck is on the other side.  So, the town forms a human bridge to allow the truck to deliver its supplies.  Funny, but not my Clydesdales.  And then, it arrived - the annual commercial we all were waiting for.  A Clydesdale pony befriends a young calf, racing him to the end of the bull pen.  The two are saddened when the race can't continue thanks to the heavy gate.  Three years later, that pony is now a full sized Clydesdale.  Running past the bull pen, he sees his old friend, now a full grown steer.  They race, but this time the race doesn't end at the fence line as the steer breaks through.  The moral of the commercial - nothing comes between good friends...especially fences.             Another Super Bowl Favorite are the Doritos ads.  This year was no disappointment.  One commercial featured a man eating Doritos and taunting a dog wearing a anti-bark collar.  Knowing the dog would get zapped if he barked, the man tells the dog he can only have a Dorito if he speaks.  So, the dog removes the collar and slips it on the man, stealing his Doritos and having a ball every time the man yells and gets zapped.  Following that ad came one in which a young boy bitch-slaps his mother's would be suitor after he tries to take some of the boy's Doritos: keep your hands off my mother and keep them off my Doritos.  There was the Doritos funeral in which a man requests to be buried in loads of Doritos.  We soon learn that he isn't dead, just enjoying watching the Super Bowl in his coffin, eating all the Doritos he can eat...that is until his favorite team scores.  The final Doritos ad featured two guys at the gym, eating Doritos stolen from Tim's, another gym member, locker.  Unfortunately, Tim is none too pleased about the situation and attacks, using Doritos as weapons.             The Coca-Cola Company has long been a sponsor of the Super Bowl, featuring ads that never fail to make us smile.  Unfortunately, this year's ads fell short of the mark.  There was the ad in which The Simpsons' Mr. Burns loses his fortune, but all is made right again once someone offers him a Coke.   Another ad featured a sleepwalker on safari, looking for Coke.             Of course, I know there are some of you out there like me who were waiting eagerly for the E*Trade babies commercials.  I'm happy to tell you that E*Trade did not disappoint.  The first ad featured our favorite e-Trade baby talking to a girlfriend and apologizing that he hadn't contacted her earlier.  As he explains how busy he was handling his investments, his girlfriend asks if the "milkaholic" was over, implying that he is two-timing her.  When the "milkaholic" shows up, our baby has some explaining to do.  The next E*Trade commercial featured our favorite baby telling his other baby friends to stop crying out of jealousy over their friend's yacht.  After all, they could have the same thing if they had handled their portfolios better at E*Trade.  The final commercial features the E*Trade baby sitting in first class on a flight while his friend is in regular class because he didn't use E*Trade.  Describing these commercials do them no justice - you have to see them to realize how funny they are.             Snickers decided on only one ad this year, but it was one that will be talked about for months to come.  Some guys are out in the muddy field playing football.  Among them is Betty White, getting out-run and devastatingly tackled in every play.  Her teammates berate her for playing like Betty White, but she's suffering from lack of energy due to hunger.  Her friends offer her a Snickers bar and as soon as she takes a bite we realize this is not Betty White, just someone who felt as old as she is due to hunger.  The next play features Abe Vigoda getting smashed to the ground.  Is it really Abe or another Snickers-starved player?             Intel had some great commercials this year to advertise their new Intel Core Processor.  The first ad was the best and is definitely worth mentioning.  It featured a server droid who gets severely depressed after hearing a man bragging about the Intel Core Processor as possibly the most innovative and amazing technology they have ever created.  You really have to see this ad to appreciate it.             Denny's Grand Slam ads were hysterical, featuring chickens screaming as they realized just how many eggs they were going to have to lay in order to make the Grand Slam successful.  Hyundai had some fun commercials advertising its Sonata, including one that poked fun at Brett Favre and his confusion over retirement.  Homeaway.com featured the Griswolds on vacation in an effort to express how some hotel reservations are not all they appear to be.  Even NFL.com got into the fun advertisement act with a commercial featuring the Steelers safety Troy Palomalu as Punxsutawney Palomalu predicting six more weeks of football.  Audi offered up a hysterical commercial featuring the Green Police to advertise their new environmentally sound car.             My favorite commercial this year came from Monster.com and featured a fiddling beaver who realizes his dreams thanks to some help from Monster.com.  I can't even begin to describe this commercial as the fiddling beaver makes his journey from his watery home to the stage in front of a crowd of people.  It's simply hysterical!             Some of last year's winners fell short this year.  Careerbuilder.com came out with nothing that could beat their ads of last year.  Go Daddy offered us little in the new and exciting department.  The Dockers pants ad was just lame as was the Metro PCS ad.  As I said earlier, most of the car ads were quite boring and dry and there were quite a few other ads not worth mentioning this year.             All-in-all, I found this year's ads didn't really live up to expectations.  I was hoping for more ads of a quality that either matched or surpassed those of Super Bowls before, but those were few and far between.  All I can say for those companies who fell short this year is - back to the drawing board...there's always next year.   For feedback, visit our message board or e-mail the author at talonkarrde@g-pop-net.